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Dancing Despite the Devil on my Back

February 7, 2018

 

 

I love this song and it just played on my Pandora station as I sit here writing at Rustic Cabin Coffee in my hometown of Duvall, WA. For some reason today I really heard, no felt, these lyrics. It was one of those big “YES” moments where I saw so clearly if something is bringing you down today, figure out a way to get if off your back. To just shake it off.

 

Sunday, I had my own backpack of woe firmly strapped to my back, and I had somehow slipped from a place of light and ease to a dark and sticky mood. I watched myself as if I was an actor playing out a scene someone else wrote for me. These weren’t my lines. These were not my feelings. URG!

 

Luckily, I’ve lived with myself long enough to know how to if not completely shake the dark load, at least lighten the it a bit. For me shaking it off happens with movement and action.

 

Movement in a literal sense. Physical backpack burning, devil banishing energy shifting, in this case a run on the trail with the dog. Never mind we'd already walked the trail, off we went to shake it off.

 

Action as in getting something done. Forward progress on a project that was sticking or holding me back. Sunday, I trimmed the dead hydrangea that had been bugging me for 4 weeks, scrapped moss off a walkway that I’d cautiously walked across every day and built the outdoor fireplace I’d purchased three weeks ago in an attempt to create some outdoor living despite Mother Nature’s Pacific Northwest Winter weather.

 

In the moments I struggled to let it go. Moving and acting I still felt crummy.  I struggled to shift my energy and my mood. I don't think I actually felt better until the very last moments of the day. Sitting by the fire looking at the trimmed hydrangea I was able to feel gratitude. To express a few "I'm sorrys" to the loved one